What a race it was; by the narrowest margin – a scalpel’s blade width – local real estate broker Don Miller Jr came up “short” to lead HUD to Dr. Ben Carson!
“I’ve never ridden so hard in my life but Big Ben was just too strong,” said Miller, “and clearly I’m disappointed but also excited for Ben and the incoming Trump administration.”
Carson had the inside track, mimicking Miller’s ride on 1983 Preakness ride on Deputed Testamony. Inside sources who spoke without permission to reveal private conversations, were said to have overheard Carson as saying, “I got lucky. If hadn’t already had been actively helping the rest of the Trump team, I’m not sure I would have pulled this off. That “short guy” is one sharp cookie!”
But Miller vowed the loss is not going to stop him from “making Baltimore great again!” He went on to say, “In the end, Ben is going to need to call on guys like me to help turn these inner city neighborhoods around, so although I may have lost the race, we are going to win the battle together. If Big Ben needs my help, I’m all in!”
Don has indicated that he’s already been meeting with local Maryland officials to discuss their plans for Baltimore. Now that the agony of defeat is wearing off, Miller expects to hear from Carson once he’s confirmed sometime next year. And if not, he’s indicated he’ll just partner with other investors to create opportunities to make Baltimore a prime city again.
* Like much of the information in this election cycle, the information in this post is likely to never be verified. *It should go without saying, this is a spoof.